You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize