you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
