Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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