she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
