separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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