Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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