I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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