I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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