I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
