His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
