I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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