her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
