Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
