at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
