If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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