I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
