I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
