I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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