I hope mine doesn't look like that
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
