Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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