I want to make a zoo with you.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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