A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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