You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
