Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
