You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
