We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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