you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
