apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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