my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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