yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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