If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
