hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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