i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
