i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize