Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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