D3 body, D1 cock
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
