The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
