so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
