i think i recognize dicks better than faces
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
