we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
