we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
