good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
