Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
