She is in my trunk
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
