I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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