Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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