I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you never un-have a 4some
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
