So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize