Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize