If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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