I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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