Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
