What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
