I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
whose ass print is on the piano?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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