I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
