You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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