PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
