Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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