we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
