I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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